Why Sumo Wrestling is Fun
May 29, 2008
Are you actively obese?
Does your idea of the perfect sport include eating and then eating?
Do you enjoy manthongs, sweat and eating?
Can you wield a spatula like a katana blade?
Then sumo may be the sport for you! Read more
Jose Canseco Wants To Fight You
May 21, 2008
I ran accross this little gem today on Deadspin.com.
Apparently, if you want to make $5000 and hate Jose Canseco, you can fight him on a July 12 boxing promotion in Atlantic City.
You can email your application to fightcanseco@aol.com.
Manny Ramirez = My Hero
May 15, 2008
Call him what you want: an idiot savant, a goofball, a whackjob.
Here at TheHouseofSmack.com it all translates to awesome.
Watch: Read more
Jason Bay = Heart Throbby
May 14, 2008
Oh Jason Bay, you left Canada for the big time and bright lights of Major League Baseball, the notoriety and the money…and lets not forget the true essence of Amrican sports-dom…the stalking songstresses…
[props to withleather.com]
Video below: Read more
Bill Russell is Old, Pretty Effing Cool
May 12, 2008
Its not often that we here that the HofS don’t have something douchey to say about almost everything…but this recent ESPN video of Kevin Garnett sitting down with old skool Celtics baller Bill Russell is the shiznit.
If this doesn’t cut to the core of you, you have no soul. Well, no sports soul…because I’m pretty sure my girlfriend doesn’t give a rats ass about either of these guys.
See the Video Below the fold. Read more
Fighting in Sports
May 6, 2008
I was watching some random 4am sports montage on some random cable station about fighting in Major league sports. The story was about how our hero’s are teaching our kids that violence is ok.
First off, I just want to say that soldiers are the real hero’s right? Whether we agree with the premise of why they are there be damned. We are here, they are dying, we are still sitting here…end of discussion.
So lets for a moment forgo the obvious problem I have with calling them heroes and focus instead on what they were actually doing. Violence in sports is never going away, and it is for the most part few and far between. Only when you are looking to scrutinize something do you begin to notice its regularity. Read more
O**ie bleeping Gui**en
May 5, 2008
Hi, I’m Ozzie fu**in Guillen.
I’m the manager for the Chicago fu**in White Sox fu**in baseball team.
When I’m not too fu**in busy sh** talking the gays, I like to randomly fu**in freak out and sh** on anybody who’ll fu**in listen to me.
Like yesterday, a reporter had the fu**in balls to say something about somebody on my fu**in baseball team so I did what any good fu**in manager should do…I fu**in lost it and tore into every fu**in thing I could think of, including the fu**in fans and the fu**in Cubs.
So fu*k you.
Heres the fu**in transcript courtesy of ES fu**in PN: Read more
Down. Set. Shoot!
May 2, 2008
The Indianapolis Colts Wide Reciever and poster child for obsessive compulsive disorder Marvin Harrison is to my delight being questioned about a shooting that occured at his bar in Philly. (A shooting in Philly? No Way!)
The guy that was shot at didn’t name Harrison as the shooter, but apparently the gun used was a one of a kind Belgian revolver that was registered to Harrison…and was recovered from a bucket in a car wash… also owned by Harrison. (wasn’t this an episode of Simon and Simon?) Read more
Pass the Beef: LeBron vs. DeShaun – It’s Getting Surrrious
May 2, 2008
Some would say the feud between LeBron James and DeShaun Steveson is kind of silly, and much ado about nothing (if people referenced Shakespeare more often or remembered that crappy movie with Emma Thompson), but to those people who say “Hey Mike, can it really be a feud if LeBron is 10x the player that DeShaun is?” or “Hey Mike, Can you please put some pants on?”, I have just one response:
HOVA
Women Have Soft Balls; Ambiguity Intended
May 1, 2008
We tend to focus here on the bad stuff – people failing (drug tests), who’s having sex with whom, who’s an ass-donkey (Jack McCallum).
Well, thankfully Division II Women’s Softball has come to the rescue with a tale worthy of a Disney movie, after one of the players who had never hit a home run in her entire career (wait for it)
…hit a home run…
but was injured over-running first so the opposing team carried her around the bases.
It’s a sterling example of sportsmanship, the power of the team and of overcoming all odds, blah blah and it makes me surprisingly horny sick.
This is why women will never take over the world – “oh you’ve shot me!” “oh no!, here let me help you to a hospital!”