The House of Smack on HardCore Sports Radio
April 8, 2008
Tonight, TheHouseofSmack.com is representing on Sirius Satellite Hardcore Sports Radio, Channel 186.
Their new show segment called “Speculation”, is an analysts look at where teams fit on the scale of awesomeness.
Still confused? Go HERE to read a more in-depth explanation, and tune the eff in!
You can LISTEN FOR FREE by FOLLOWING THIS LINK @ 5 PM PST
Rampage Fights, Molests Reporters.
April 8, 2008
This amazing video came to me by way of WithLeather.com, and although they are probably the global hegemon of useless sports blogs, if one day they actually acknowledged our content my life would be complete…and i would almost feel justified in stealing all of their sweet content.
Anyways, here’s UFC Light heavyweight Champion Quinton “Rampage” Jackson doing what he does best…(SFW)
NBA Player Nicknames
April 7, 2008
First off, we’re eliminating names that are just shortened versions of a real name. Calling someone “D. Wade” when their name is Dwayne Wade is saying it like a doctor, not being clever. I’m also not including any country-specific nicknames – so no “Great Wall of China” for Yao or “Captain Canada” for Steve Nash, or whatever the hell you’d say for someone from Slovakia. Read more
Weekend Link Spank - The House of Hack
April 4, 2008
Ok so maybe I dont want to spend the entire weekend slogging my way through Youtube and the google to bring you yokels the awesomest sports observations in the universe.
Well instead, I’m going to steal the stuff from all the other sites that I normally steal my ideas from, but this time I’m eliminating the middleman: me!
Check out my interview with Georges St. Pierre.
CagePotato.com’s gnarliest head kick knockouts…and our list of super turbo speedy knockouts
Fightlinker on Dana Whites Drinkin’.
The Sports media are having Brett Favre separation anxiety already.
Have a happy New Kids on the Block reunion tour announcement weekend!
Super Fast Knockout Video Extravaganza!
April 4, 2008
In honor of Wednesday nights RECORD TYING speed KO of Houston Alexander by James Irvin at Ultimate Fight Night, I’ve tried my bestest to assemble a collection of super-turbo-action knockouts for all of our viewing pleasure.
Its also a pseudo response to our BFF Ben at CagePotato.com’s friggin sweet Gnarliest Head Kicks KO Collection he posted.
Please note that theres a balls-load of crappy videos out there so I may have missed a few along the way…if you have one…add it in the comments. Then together, we can make this the greatest collection of super speedy uber knockouts ever assembled.
Lets get started. Read more
An Open Letter to Chris Henry
April 3, 2008
Hi Chris,
Well, I see that the Bengals have cut you loose after another run in with the law. Pffft, buncha prudes.
I want you to know that even though you’re now without a team, I have a special place for you on my couch in my heart. After all, it’s not like you really did anything wrong. Let’s look at what you did [courtesy of the Withleather.com boys - see that Jack McCallum? It's called a "reference". Jackass]
“December ‘05: Speeding, marijuana possession, no valid driver’s license or auto insurance ”
- Well obviously you were speeding, you didn’t have a license and your insurance was expired. Duh.
“January ‘06: Multiple gun charges in Orlando, including assault with a firearm, while wearing his #15 jersey. Plead guilty.”
- You know how they say “no publicity is bad publicity”? I’m sure you were just thinking of that right? And you plead guilty right? That’s basically saying “my bad” - why are these assholes all over you? What are they - the fun police?
Oh…they’re the real police. My mistake.
“May ‘06: Investigated in sex crime. No charges were ever filed.”
- I think the language was just off here. Change it to “investigated in-sex crime” and it sounds like you’re just a crime voyeur right? (Man! PR’ing is hard!)
“June ‘06: Arrested for DUI. Charges dismissed when defense proved breathalyzer was faulty. ”
- Luckily you were too hammered to remember this whole episode. Whew!
“September ‘06: Teammate Odell Thurman gets a DUI. Henry, a passenger, vomits out the window.”
- Vomiting is not a crime. If it was, every frat boy in the US would be arrested (but “who will videotape the public gangbangs?” you ask. Shhh Chris…we’ll get to that later.) Also, Odell Thurman drives like a 60 year old Asian woman, so 100% understandable. NEXT QUESTION.
“October ‘06: NFL levies two-game suspension”
- two game suspension = two week vacation! It’s all in how you spin it people.
“January ‘07: Pleads guilty to giving minors alcohol the previous spring.”
- If confronted with this again, just tell the cops: “You remember what it was like when YOU were 17 and really wanted to drink to have fun with your friends…and give a BJ to a famous football player?”
“April ‘07: Suspended for first eight games of ‘07 season.”
- gave you time to do some yardwork and install those new solid oak cupboards! Hooray!
“June ‘07: Henry and teammate Reggie McNeal allegedly assault a 16-year-old boy. The charges were deemed unfounded and dismissed.”
- Who says he’s not a team player? “and teammate Reggie McNeal” - cmon coach! We’s bonding! This “kid” was 6′4″ and probably around 230 lbs. He was also lippy. Who’s going to parent the parents society asks? Chris Henry answered.
“November ‘07: Accused of assaulting a valet at Newport on the Levee. No charges were filed, but Henry is banned from returning.”
- Valets are worthless pieces of trash. They get to ride your nice car, get paid and then demand a tip. To put it in perspective, I am neither rich, nor a famous football player - but in the last week I have killed 14 valets. Perspective people!
Also - you’re “banned from returning”? Oh MY GOD! NOT THE LEVEE! They didn’t let 16 year olds drink anyways, so screw em.
“April ‘08: Assault charges”
- In your defense that 16 year old valet at the Levee had it coming. “Autograph” this punk!
I guess if I have any parting words, it’d be this: Please don’t leave my life Chris. Please. I need you to come back, make plays and get up to your usual shenanigans. Don’t do it for me though Chris. Do it for my fantasy team the kids.
(I was talking about going to buy alcohol - sorry I didn’t introduce that last sentence properly.)
Sincerely,
MikeD, TheHouseofSmack
Georges St. Pierre is Pure Awesome.
April 2, 2008
In my other job, I pretend to be a radio host. During this pretending, I sometimes get the opportunity to meet and interview some kick ass individuals.
One such individual happens to be UFC Welterweight Georges St. Pierre…and being the mixed martial arts nerdy fanboy that I am, I obviously get all giddy at the opportunity to sit down with one of these guys.
If you don’t have GSP in your MMA top three pound for pound list, you are a total freaking putz.
Here’s a quick 10 minute interview I did with him, so sit back, relax and listen to it or he will hit as hard as he can on you! Read more
Who’s the Boss?
April 2, 2008
(Brought to you by new HofS contributor Jer cuz his shit’s tight….and he’s in a band, this is his first article so please, release the hounds.) I apologize to the losers who were clamoring for a Tony Danza article. After seeing THE BOSS (Bruce fucking Springsteen) in concert last night my man crush list has vaulted to a very precarious (for my heterosexuality) list of two. Though no mere “athlete” could ever approach the levels of charisma exuded by the man himself, here are some of the most “Boss” pro athletes out there. Read more
Today in “I’m Awesomer Than You” News
April 1, 2008
Unlike, well, everybody, I actualy like Alex Rodriguez. I mean he’s a whiner for sure, but cmon - being a celebrity in New York means tons of media exposure, I mean hell, the other day I stubbed my toe coming out of a strip club bank and the headlines the next day read: “Random Dickhead Robs Strip Club And Hurts Self on Way Out” - I mean, how did they know I stubbed my toe? Pirahnas I tell you!
Anyways, let’s go through the Mike D list for approval:
1. catchy and sexually ambiguous nickname? A-Rod = check
2. banging hot wife - who he cheats on with bodybuilders in Toronto? check
3. wearing “extreme athlete super endurance performance” shades? check
4. Hmmm…it seems like I’m forgetting something? Oh I know! How about this?
Yup, A-Rod makes as much as the whole freakin Rays team. That means when he strikes out he can shrug and say “oh well…at least I make way more than all of you”. He can also do this if he makes an error, or hits into a pop fly. Conversely, when he gets a hit, walk, or does a great fielding play he can say “Oh, and I make more than your entire team”
The only thing I don’t like though is how freaking big he is. The guy’s a monster. I’m telling you, between him and Eduardo Najera they’re up to something down there. I can’t put my finger on it, but I’m pretty sure fairly soon we’ll all be working tirelessly in factories and mines for super-human Mexicans.
…and I’m pretty sure they’ll be only more than happy to tell us they make more than us combined.
The 10 Lamest Sports…Ever
April 1, 2008
(Also known as: “How Nerds Mate” and “Slow People Have Fun Too”)
These are all REAL LIFE “sports” played by actual humans somewhere on the planet. I mean its not like there aren’t enough regular sports available, but somehow people can’t be satisfied and have to screw with perfectly good ones, or make up their own crap. Read more