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An Illogical and Unresearched Breakdown of Every NBA Playoff Series: Washington vs. Cleveland

April 24, 2008

Continuing upon our award-winning (ok, my mom said she liked it) series, let’s break down the Wizards vs. the Cavaliers – and no, we aint’ talking about a “really rad” game of Warcraft, we’s talking hoops!

Washington

Ok, admittedly, I was hoping the Wiz would kick the Cavs ass here. I mean after my Lebron vs. DeShaun comparison  it really seemed like Washington had the drive and the chutchzpa to get over the Cavs hump. However, I guess Congress – wait for it, wait for it! - isn’t the only group in Washington that can’t get anything done (oh you cad you!). Antawn Jamison – who pronounces his name “Ant-Wann” even though it’s not spelled like that (I pronounce my name “Or-lan-do Bloom” even though I spell it Mike), is the only one who’s actually doing anything, while their non-existent bench continues to get them in trouble. Agent Zero played well in the first game, but came up way short in the second. To let you know how bad they played in Game 2, the Wizards cheerleaders wouldn’t even have sex with Brandon Haywood – that’s how upset they were.

Cleveland

Apparently that LeBron James can ball. Yikes. It’s amazing that you can win a playoff game with a  supporting cast of guys 5 years past their prime – it’s kinda like N’Sync got back together. Oh God, did I just type that? Justin is so handsome. Oh God…stop typing. [Ed note: Mike ran away as soon as he finished typing that sentence, crying and yelling something about me "not understanding their love" or something like that]

The worst part of the Cavs playoff run though is that Daniel Gibson - Oh! Looks like someone in the Cavs organization learned how to use Photoshop!- and his ridiculous hairdo walks around like he’s Scottie to LeBron’s MJ. Dude, you have the nickname “Boobie” – you ain’t shit.

Please don’t read into that too much though, because I heart boobies. Just not ones who can’t defend and are streaky shooters at best.

All I’m saying is I’d rather watch this boobie, than that Boobie.

Pick: Cleveland in 5

[Thanks to Filmdrunk for the masterbatory awesomeness link and Jack McCallum for still being the bane of my existence].

Written by MikeD · Filed Under Basketball 

Comments

One Response to “An Illogical and Unresearched Breakdown of Every NBA Playoff Series: Washington vs. Cleveland”

  1. GoldieRim on April 24th, 2008 4:31 pm

    Are you making picks for a series that is half over>?!?!?! Come on!

    Please reference: BetUS basketball podcast PRE-ROUND 1

    Tit!!!

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