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One of These Is Not Like the Other…

With the news that Eugene Wilson has been kicked off the Pittsburgh Steelers after punching his girlfriend and “baby momma” in an eatery (she should’ve suggested Denny’s…no one has a bad time when they order the meat lovers skillet!), a lot of people are shocked! This behavior is terrible, yadda, yadda. Now, don’t get me wrong, I don’t condone hitting women (except on the ass. Ladies, call me!), but this guy makes a living playing a tough game, so I doubt he’s the only NFL-er to hit his girlfriend. He fits right in with a long line of Rae Carruth-type visionaries idiots, but that got me to thinking:

- Man, I could really go for some Denny’s!

So after getting to Denny’s it got me to thinking:

- Man, this is delicious!

But then I thought:

- If Wilson fits right in, what sports players just don’t fit in? Which players do you look at and think “What’s he doing there?”

And so, after scribbling on a Denny’s napkin, I present to you:

The HofS’s Island of Misfit Toys Read more

Grading the Graders - Jack McCallum Can McSuck My McBalls

Hey Jack McCallum – you suck.

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2008/writers/jack_mccallum/03/27/western.conference/index.html?eref=mostpop

Hmm…I could’ve sworn I read the exact same article by a much more popular writer only a day or two ago…hmmm…

*waves fingers in air Wayne’s World style*

doodle-a-doo doodle-a-doo

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/page2/story?page=simmons/080326

McCallum even freaking references John Hollinger (oh I’ll get to you in my next article jackass) from Espn.com in his freaking Si.com article! His reasearch process basically went: 1. turn on computer 2. go to ESPN.com 3. rip off article just read. 4. Send invoice. I’m shaking with so much rage I can barely type. Thank God years of masterbation have given me the experience ot persevere.

So to summarize: I rip off a writer and I get a “cease and desist” letter (screw you estate of the Marquis de Sade – I do what I want!). Jack McCallum does it and gets a job at one of the most popular sporting websites out there.

Does he give an incredible BJ or something?

P.S. Nice unibrow / combover combo. Really. Very nice.

Preferred method of beatdown: Thai ladyboy sex scandal photos (just look at him, you just KNOW he’d be down)

UFC Event Names - The Truth!

According to such reliable sources as Dana White, the UFC has a tough time selecting names for UFC events…I beg to differ.

See, it’s not like a crapload of thought goes into these things…the next event is called “UFC 83 - Serra vs St-Pierre 2″…I mean that’s not rocket science is it? Now I have to give credit where credit is due: UFC 2 - No Way Out made sense, and even though it was named after a Costner movie…it fit.

Then that got me thinking…don’t all of these sound a bit like movies? Like bad action movies? Upon further investigation…I discovered that the UFC has been STEALING THEIR SHOW NAMES FROM MOVIES ALL ALONG!

Let’s go through a list of these so-called hard to find names and unearth the plagiaristic truth behind the names of UFC events…It’s shocking how many action classic lend their names to UFC promotions.

(…and you will find NO LESS than THREE Wesley Snipes Movies on the list.) Read more

Cubs Fans are Wussies!

I really don’t know what to say. If there is a Cub nation, all of you need to immediately get over to this site and tear this guy a new one. Or at least attempt to recover some of the man-ness that this dude has so egregiously dressed in a tutu and sent off to ballet lessons.

WithLeather.com somehow found this, and although we thank them for their diligence, it’s a sad, sad day for baseball. Read more

Anderson Silva Loses…Sometimes

If Anderson Silva is not in your MMA pound for pound top two, you’re an imbecile. He has been so dominant in his weight class in the UFC, there’s simply nobody left for him to fight. I’ve seen him nonchalantly backside elbow uppercut dudes into the third row, submit the unsubmittable, and do it all with a smile and a handshake.

But as ridiculously dominant as he can be, Anderson Silva has actually lost a couple of fights. In his first ever professional Mixed Martial Arts fight at a Brazilian Vale Tudo event in 2000, he gave up a decision to a mediocre young fighter by the name of Luiz Azeredo. After that, he racked off 9 straight, before suffering his first serious loss, via first round triangle choke to Daiju Takase at PRIDE 26.

Check it:

I call it his only ever “serious” loss because you can’t blame a guy for losing his first ever fight, and because the only other blemishes on the guys record are from a flying super ninja heel hook, and from knocking the living crap out of a dude and losing on a technicality.

The heel hook came from Ryo Chonan, who I could safely say was doing a great job of blocking Silva’s punches with his face, and tried a desperation move, and somehow managed to lock it in:

LOTS MORE VIDEOS AFTER THE FOLD! Read more

Sweet Goalie Fights

To commemorate Patrick Roy’s balls out goaltending and temper, (as well as his son laying a shellacking on an opposing goaltender this weekend) lets take a look at a couple of sweet goalie dust-ups. Lots of videos below the fold. Read more

Top 8 Biggest A-holes in Baseball

Right up there with road rage, shootin’ shit and war, what would Americas pastime be without a salute to those who turn the privilege of playing a kids game for money into a debaucherous clusterf**k of ego, HGH and and unabashed asshole-dem?

Obviously, its kind of tough to not look through my Red Sox colored goggles in determining this list, so we need to establish a clear list of criteria as to what determines a true asshole, and not just some prick from the Yankees. Here it is:

1) The Media hates them

2) The fans hate them

3) I hate them

Now here they are, in no particular order…as they should all equally bask in the gloriousness of making this list: Read more

Madden NFL Coaches 2009

With Tony Dungy gracing the cover of EA Sports’ NFL Head Coach 09 we are left with a few thoughts:

A. Seriously, how awesome is coach Dungy?

B. Are there any other coaches that could’ve worked?

So without further ado, let’s take a look at what features the game would’ve had if they had chosen someone else besides the marvelous Man-God Tony Dungy.

AFC EAST

1. NFL Bellicheck 09

Similar to Head Coach 09, but success doesn’t make you happy. For each 10 game streak you put together, something bad happens: wife leaves you, have an affair with a married woman, league dislikes you, etc.
Comes with a free webcam though! Read more

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