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Randy Moss is a Gentleman

News today that Randy Moss has been indicted for hurting a woman and not allowing her to seek medical help (hey MSNBC - how about some fucking details? Is this Page Six of the gossip rags? Sure you don’t want to credit “an insider close to the film’s production” while you’re at it?). Read more

Hockey - A State of the Union

Why don’t Yankees like hockey??

Turn on any Canadian sports network and you’re sure to find a multitude of poorly-dressed Canadian white guys debating this question (especially since the actually kick-ass Heritage Classic) with pinache…well as much pinache as a guy who spends $200 on a suit can pull off.

They banter back and forth wondering “Can Antoine Verloiuseau (yes I made that name up, but you didnt’ know that did you?) make a difference on the Nashville blue line?”, never stopping to realize that their very wondering is causing their downfall. Americans love the glory and glamour of sports, while Canadians care only about the effort. Yanks love the Hollywood aspect of sports - and there ain’t nothing glamourous about Tip Top.

In order to find the fat-pocketed “Fat American” - generally not that hard to find as they can be spotted at the dock waiting with 13 suitcases for a 2 day cruise, or at the bar in local watering hole, or even at the buffet table in Branson, Missouri, shoving down fried shrimp as if they were whales trying to fill their baleen with krill (ok, i haven’t referenced krill and baleen since grade 3 so pardon my spelling). The appealing part of the Fat American..or “American” for the abbreviators out there, is the only thing deeper than their waistbands - their wallets. With widespread American acceptance of any service/good comes more money than you could shake a baby at.

Which raises the question; if Americans will spend thousands of hours and dollars supporting the Singing Bee with Joey Fatone (a disgrace to the Joey name) why can’t they support the greatest game on ice?

Here’s why: HOCKEY LACKS SEX APPEAL

That’s it. That’s the beginning and ending of it. Hockey players are good kids, hard working, smart (enough), almost universally white and middle class. Read more

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